some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
