So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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