I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Found your dick twin last night
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
