We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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