You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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