Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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