He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
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We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
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Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have post one night stand depression
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