She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
