There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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