Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
