I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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