Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
