i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
