No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him