And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm like, not good at living.