For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder