Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
