His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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