i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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