I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
