You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
