If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Say something about gay babies.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize