True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
