i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
