i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can I color on your dick again?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
