come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
