What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
