i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
