glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
