My room smells like vodka and shame
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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