I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
