Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
