I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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