We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
