I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
