The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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