we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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