Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
What a dumb baby whore.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
