Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
"it" just moved
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We had sex on a dog bed..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
