What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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