i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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