I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
