Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize