I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Someone came in the potted fern
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
