Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
