She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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