just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
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I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
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As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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