just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize