dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
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take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
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Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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