that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
