Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
