I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
