I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
