I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
