if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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