Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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