I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
