Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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