just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
