so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
"it" just moved
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
