i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
